My life ends in a few minutes

Published on by Raven

"You won't ever make it out of this car alive you fucking bitch" were the words he used to let me know his plan. "My homegirl already told me she'd help me fuck you up and get rid of you- you wont ever see your son-fuck you. You're dying today, and I'm gonna make you wish that I had killed you before we left the house."

I was about to die. I was going to be beaten senseless first, probably shot and/or stabbed, or whatever they decided to do with me. Bryant Chatman had some rough friends- something I did not know in the beginning. Drugs, guns, and other criminal things..... I did not find out until after it was too late.

What do you think about when you are about to die a slow, painful death, and you know that your unborn child will die with you? I cried quietly. Bryant was psycho that night, and I did not want to make him worse. As long as he was beating me in the head, I just let him. It stopped hurting after a while, and it kept him away from my baby. I was numb. My thoughts were of my son, Justice, who was due soon. I wanted to meet him so badly, to see what he looked like, what his personality would be like, and what kind of man he would become. I was thinking about him; if the police found me soon enough, could they save him? What if they cant find my body? Will they know what happened? Will people look for me? I knew some would. My best friend Mike, my mom and sister, my father, step-mom, grandparents, little brothers, and my baby's dad, Venson. Some of Mike's friends would look for me, too. If Venson and Mike got hold of Bryant after he'd done this, they would kill him. But I didn't want that. I just wanted Bryant to snap out of whatever delusion he was having, or whatever psychotic episode he was experiencing and let me go. However, I did not have much hope. When he told me he'd already contacted people to help him kill and dispose of me, I figured it was the end.

My thoughts were choppy. After I thought about my son and what would happen to him, my thoughts went to his father. We were not 100% sure that he was the father at the time, but he wanted to be. He was not a one-woman man, but I believe that part of him loved me and I had always had love for him. I knew he would be so angry. He had already told Bryant that if he so much as scared me at all, that he would see to it that Bryant met with God that day. I thought about that. My best friend, like my brother, MIke also told Bryant that he was a dead man if he touched me. They had scared him straight, they thought, and although they worried, they thought I would be safe for a little while. They would blame themselves. I would never get to know my little brothers or my daddy. My whole family would wish they'd intervened. I would never finish college or make a difference in anyone's life. Everybody I cared about would be confused as to what happened, and the child who saved me from myself would never even get to see the light. I had to pull it together. I said to myself, "I am going to die today, and there is not much I can do about it, but I have to be smart in case I get any chance of surviving."

"Say something, bitch!" When I'd say something, he'd say,"Don't fucking say shit to me you whore", and he'd hit me more. At one point, he dropped the car keys under his seat. He swore I'd stolen them and had them, and he beat me down for it. He was irrational. He was not making sense at some points. He was saying I cheated on him, which I did not. Once he moved in my house and got serious, I did nothing wrong. I was there for him. At first, it was great. Now this. He would cry, then laugh, saying that I thought I'd make him a fool. Then he'd scream and yell, beat me some more, and then cry. WTF? I have studied this behavior all my life, but this was the first time I'd seen an episode this severe in front of my face.................

 

My story is not easy to tell. I know that I have bounced around quite a bit, but this is so difficult. I know I need to talk about it, I need to tell you about it, and if anyone knows Bryant Chatman, I hope they tell his girlfriend or wife about it. I am not only sharing my story to help myself; I am writing and sharing his true name because it could save the life of a woman or child who thinks he is wonderful. Bryant Chatman is not wonderful; he is a predator.

I don't want another woman to experience her last thoughts at the hands of this man.

IF YOUR MAN SAYS HE WILL KILL YOU, BELIEVE IT!!! HE WILL EVENTUALLY DO IT! IT IS NOT AN IDLE THREAT! ANYONE WHO THREATENS YOU THAT WAY IS NOT WORTHY OF YOUR TIME OR EFFORTS, AND YOU NEED TO GET THE HELL UP OUT OF THERE AS FAST AS YOU CAN!!! PLEASE DONT BE A STATISTIC!!!!

If you are a victim, or if you know someone who is, please contact someone. Tell your loved one you are there and you know it's not easy to just put an end to the relationship. It's never easy. It is more scary to leave than to stay. Be understanding, and try to listen without getting emotional.

These are some resources you can go check out, as well as calling police. In many states, maybe all (I will look it up and let you know) states, the state now prosecutes the abuser in domestic violence situations. The victim does not have to be the one to press charges. If she knows that, it is a little easier. Check these out, and send them to the victim that you love before she is a victim of murder! Please!

http://www.childwelfare.gov/systemwide/service_array/domviolence/

National Resource Center on Domestic Violence

1-800-799- SAFE- Domestic Abuse helpline

National Online Resource Center on Violence Against Women (VAWnet)

A Safe Place: domestic violence shelter, counseling, and help programs

Domestic Violence Help-Lines

More later,

Raven

 

P.S. Thanks for all comments, and thanks especially to Sunni for inspiring me to continue.

You can also contact your local police or look up your city on the web and plug in "victim services" or "domestic violence". This is what I found in my town:

Crime Victim's Bill of Rights   
If you are the victim, or a family member of a victim, of one or more of the following types of crimes:

- Serious Injury by Vehicle

- Sexual Battery 

Burglary

- Homicide

- - Assault/Battery & Feticide

- False Imprisonment

-- - Kidnapping

- Cruelty to Children

- Stalking
then you are entitled to know the following:

1) It is possible that the accused may be released from custody prior to trial;
2) that you, as a victim, have certain rights during various stages of the criminal justice process;
3) additional information about your rights can be obtained by contacting the Criminal Justice Coordinating Council at 404-559-4949;
4) you may be eligible for monetary compensation for certain out-of-pocket expenses (from the State Crime Victim's Compensation Fund) incurred as a result of your victimization;
5) you may contact the HODAC's Crime Victim Assistance Helpline at 800-338-6745 for assistance or clarification of your rights;
6) you must be notified by the investigating law enforcement agency, of the accused arrest; and
7) You must provide the investigating law enforcement agency with you current address and phone number if you wish to be contacted. 
Taken from http://www.kennesaw.ga.us/index.aspx?NID=317

 

 

 

 

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